Well here I go!

I am not sure what I am going to really type about on here because my previous journals have been so random. I am sure I will talk a lot about Tyler and Tim and breastfeeding etc!

I never knew I would turn out to me the kind of mother I feel like I am. I love breastfeeding and love learning about it. It is such a miraculous thing! I almost wish I could be a lactation consultant I enjoy it that much. I am not sure if it will pass once it is not all I do but for now... Tyler and breastfeeding are my world! It is such an amazing feeling to know that he is growing and getting the amazing benifits from the breastmilk. After typing that I get to wonder if it will change some once I am forced out of my "mommy bubble".

I am sure it will once I am back in the real world and I have to deal with business stuff and interact with adults again but I am very happy where I am right now. I would love love love to be able to stay at home with Tyler but it sadly is not in the cards financially. I feel that leaving him will be the hardest thing I EVER have to do. I really like our childcare provider and I hope that he will respond well to her. Some of my chief concerns are the fact that I do not let him cry and he nurses all day! I am not sure how he is going to handle not being the center of attention and being able to be on a boob all day. I really hope it goes well. I have two more months before I need to freak out about it though. I start working from home 20 hours a week on the 15th. I am so not looking forward to it. I have loved not working. I suppose anyone that thought I would be bored on bedrest has no idea just how lazy I really am! Tyler being here has certainly changed things and I have plenty to do all day! I will work from home until November 1 and then go in full time. I am hoping that the teaching job will play out the way we hope and I will start there soon. I really hate to do that to my office because they were so great to me over the course of my pregnancy and leave but I know I need to do what is right for me and my family and I would be happier teaching.